.. and then you decide that this spectre must have a name. Most figure out that their fantasies are forbidden, and then spend the rest of their lives suppressing them without ever trying to understand them. A few discover leech websites and forums online, alone in their rooms at night with their heads compulsively twisting over their shoulders, dampening keyboards with sweaty palms. Once they learn, unlearning is difficult; still, some try their hardest. Others join the forums and read the websites, and begin to lead a secret double life on the Internet. Only about a half percent of hosts fully understand that the leech is not a parasite; it is a way of life.As a member of that half-percent, I met a salty, harsh, unforgiving sea of sameness in mainstream society. Serious employers would not hire me, or they'd let me go as soon as I took off my hat. McDonalds would not hire me. The only place I could find work within a 20-mile radius (aside from a software engineering company, bypassed. "I'm trying to be happy for you, really I am. But you've gotta understand. When I knew they weren't coming back, I promised myself that I'd finish raising you right. Sometimes the responsibility of looking after you was the only thing that kept me going. I tried so hard to keep you on the right track and in school, and when I found out you were... were kinky, I thought I'd be able to get you to want more... healthy things, and I know you tried hard. And now you've given yourself in sexual bondage to a rock star you never met before yesterday, and I helped you do it. Now that it's really happened, I can't help but feel that I've failed you. And you're going to leave, and I'll be all alone in that big old house, with no mom, no dad, no you, and no purpose in life." Cindy's voice and face were calm, but tears were streaming down her cheeks. Amanda looked like she was going to cry too, but was holding it in."Cindy, please don't feel that way!" Amanda pleaded. "You've been the best, the.
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